"City of Angels" star Nicolas Cage is a devoted guardian angel to his ailing mother.
The Oscar-winning actor plans to splurge on a luxury apartment in an assisted living facility for his mom Joy, who's suffered from mental illness for years.
Cage -- who's spoken publicly about his mother's battle -- has already bought a home for her. He visits her regularly and pays for round-the-clock nursing care, sources say.
Now the 34-year-old star is plunking down $300,000 for a plush spread and he'll dole out another $4,000 a month for fees in the posh downtown San Francisco building.
"Mom was plagued with mental illness for most of my childhood," Cage, who won the 1995 Best Actor Oscar for "Leaving Las Vegas," recalled in an interview.
"She was institutionalized for years and went through shock treatments. It was very hard going to visit her in institutions."
An insider close to the "Con Air" action hero added: "Nick devotes every hour he can to his mother.
"He bought a house for her in the San Francisco area of Pacific Heights so she could be close to her old neighborhoods.
"Although he owns a home in Los Angeles, Nick flies to San Francisco at least once a week to see her.
"He takes her for outings in his vintage Corvette. They walk on the beach or have dinner at Joy's favorite Italian restaurant.
"Nick is so concerned about his mom that he walks down to the local drugstore himself to get her prescription.
A clerk at the drugstore added: "When Nicolas Cage comes in here, he's as humble as can be. He's a nice, polite man. You'd never guess he's a big star."
Cage has grown closer to his mom over the years.
"Nick confides in his mom about the women in his life -- his wife, actress Patricia Arquette, and actress Kristina Fulton, the mother of his son Weston," said the insider.
"It's heartbreaking for him that his mom needs 24-hour care. He's vowed that his mom get only the best. That's why he's moving her into one of the city's most exclusive retirement homes. Nick doesn't care what it costs.
And Joy told a friend: "Nick is wonderful. He does everything for me. He makes me feel so loved. I couldn't wish for a better son."
Ohhhh.... that is so sweet and beautiful. What a wonderful man he is. It would be so easy for someone in his position to just pay other people to take care of her and rarely visit himself, but he's not like that.
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
Ohhhh.... that is so sweet and beautiful. What a wonderful man he is. It would be so easy for someone in his position to just pay other people to take care of her and rarely visit himself, but he's not like that.
He is just so freakin' perfect it almost makes you a little ill... he's hot AND talented AND intelligent AND a hard worker AND a super nice guy, just from what I've read.
Does this man have a flaw at ALL?
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
He is just so freakin' perfect it almost makes you a little ill... he's hot AND talented AND intelligent AND a hard worker AND a super nice guy, just from what I've read. Does this man have a flaw at ALL?
Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
Wow, I wish I had Nic in my life to help me like that with my own Mom. He could understand what I am going through with her, and understand why I have to spend time with her on the weekends insteading of doing what I want or need to do. Reading things like that make me just love him even more!!!
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I sleep with Nic every night.......................in my dreams!
Making decisions about another's care is so difficult. Our family is doing that now with my aunt. It's very draining emotionally as well as physically. You want to give them everything, yet you also need to acknowledge that you need your own time and space, and the guilt of enjoying freedom from sterile medical facilities. I hope Nic can still find the time to visit his mom once a week! It's a wonderful grounding of both their souls to connect on a schedule.
Reading things like that make me just love him even more!!!
Same here Cheri! I sure could have used someone like him last April when I lost my mom to cancer. My idiot ex was in jail then too. That ass was never around when I needed him most.
Making decisions about another's care is so difficult. Our family is doing that now with my aunt. It's very draining emotionally as well as physically. You want to give them everything, yet you also need to acknowledge that you need your own time and space, and the guilt of enjoying freedom from sterile medical facilities. I hope Nic can still find the time to visit his mom once a week! It's a wonderful grounding of both their souls to connect on a schedule.
We kept my mom at home the whole time Sinclaire, so I know exactly what you mean.
My Mom is demanding that I take her out of the Assisted Living place that took me so long to find. She has complained about every where she has been since she went through the surgery. I finally told her today that if she insists on going home then I am done!! I can not be her nurse, and house keeper and work a 40 hr job and tend to my house and dogs, and now Danny. She is fighting so much with me about it, I can't stand to visit her anymore.
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I sleep with Nic every night.......................in my dreams!
I think it's a generational issue because women work full time now and aren't at home to take care of someone 24/7. Plus, many health issues need full time nursing care and finding that in your home, minus any special equipment, is tough.
We have to have a Special Needs Trust for Sami and another for Carter, as well as plan on them possibly living with us past our retirement (which will not happen, I'll always work), because living alone is not a possiblity for them. Last Sat Sami fell and broke her leg but I thought she may have cracked a rib and punctured a lung. Had she been older and was living alone with a rib cracked or skull fracture I would be making her burial plans (again).
After reading all of your stories about these things happening in your lives, it makes me feel a little guilty for never having anything like that happen in my family. I wish I could give all of you a big hug and do something to help you out.
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
After reading all of your stories about these things happening in your lives, it makes me feel a little guilty for never having anything like that happen in my family. I wish I could give all of you a big hug and do something to help you out.
Don't feel guilty D! I would never wish what I went through and what my mom went through on anybody! It's certainly no fun watching someone dying and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.
He's not dying, but he has a lot of health and body-related problems (bad knees, bad back, loss of hearing) and has to take a cocktail of medications for them - mostly painkillers, but also anti-nflammatory crap and another one for his heart to keep it from racing too fast. He has an extra nerve on his heart that can cause it to beat twice as much as a normal person's. It can be triggered by caffeine, anxiety, etc., and he's had to go to the emergency room more than once to get electrode shocks to make it stop. If it happened and he wasn't able to get to a hospital in time... his heart would eventually give out. Gee, cheerful thought, eh?
The thought hanging over your head - knowing that something could happen to his heart or his back or his knees any second - is scary as hell. It's weird, because his heart is strong... it just has that extra nerve that shocks it every so often. It's like a surge protector on your computer... if you get a current sent to your heart that it can't handle, it just stops. That's what this extra nerve can do to it if he's not careful. So while I've never had to go through what all of you have, I do know what it's like to worry about a loved one.
-- Edited by Damaris at 12:02, 2006-01-15
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
Gosh I'm so sorry D. I'm such a loser. I get overboard about crap on this website and others are really having a hard time with loved ones. I overlook that too many times. My dad and mom are doing great healthwise but we're not as close as I would like. My dad's just too busy. Hope Nicolas doesn't become that kind of father to his kids. It really screws you up inside.
That's OK, Ella. Like I said, I've never had a close loved one die or have to be put in a nursing home, so the problems we go through with family members is all relative (pardon the pun). The thing with my dad is, he's actually physically strong... he's just got these various issues.
Actually, as weird as this sounds, the one thing that scares me the most about it is the amount of medication he has to take every day. Some of his pills (like the one for his heart) has to be taken in exact dosages. If he accidentally took too many of the wrong pill, he would be in serious trouble. That has almost happened a couple of times... he has a headache and isn't paying 100% attention to what he's taking and how much. But all we can do is be there for him and make sure he's got his pills. The rest is really out of our hands. It's up to him to not exert himself physically, but of course he's a man and is stubborn as **** about doing home-improvement projects.
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
I worry sometimes about my dad. He's not dying, but he has a lot of health and body-related problems (bad knees, bad back, loss of hearing) and has to take a cocktail of medications for them - mostly painkillers, but also anti-nflammatory crap and another one for his heart to keep it from racing too fast. He has an extra nerve on his heart that can cause it to beat twice as much as a normal person's. It can be triggered by caffeine, anxiety, etc., and he's had to go to the emergency room more than once to get electrode shocks to make it stop. If it happened and he wasn't able to get to a hospital in time... his heart would eventually give out. Gee, cheerful thought, eh? The thought hanging over your head - knowing that something could happen to his heart or his back or his knees any second - is scary as hell. It's weird, because his heart is strong... it just has that extra nerve that shocks it every so often. It's like a surge protector on your computer... if you get a current sent to your heart that it can't handle, it just stops. That's what this extra nerve can do to it if he's not careful. So while I've never had to go through what all of you have, I do know what it's like to worry about a loved one.-- Edited by Damaris at 12:02, 2006-01-15
Aw I'm sorry to hear that D. It's not easy whether the person is dying or just ailing.
Thanks, perfect. He will be 53 this May, and so far he's going strong. Once you realize that it's out of your control, all you can do is spend time with them and enjoy what you have in the present. His doctor once told him, "The good news is, you'll probably live to be 100. The bad news is, you'll hurt like hell the whole time.". Medical humor... dontcha just love it??
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
Thanks, perfect. He will be 53 this May, and so far he's going strong. Once you realize that it's out of your control, all you can do is spend time with them and enjoy what you have in the present. His doctor once told him, "The good news is, you'll probably live to be 100. The bad news is, you'll hurt like hell the whole time.". Medical humor... dontcha just love it??
I'd have slapped that doctor sideways D! WTF!? Anyways, I wanted to ask you how your dad's attitude is about all these ailments? Attitude really makes the difference. My dad has emphysema which is very disabling. He can't even walk across the room without getting "winded" as he likes to say. When he was first diagnoised (he was about 35) the dr. told him that he was gonna die a young man. My dad laughed right in his face! Well he's 65 now & still kicking! LOL! Even the doctor he goes to (new doctor now)says he has a really good attitude about his illness!
My dad has a mostly optimistic attitude about it. He just does what he can and lets the chips fall where they may... he keeps his weight down to make it easier on his knees and back, but he's still a big guy (6'1", large frame) so he'll always have dense bones and muscles.
He doesn't sit around boo-hooing or feeling sorry for himself. He lives life as much as he can.
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
My dad has a mostly optimistic attitude about it. He just does what he can and lets the chips fall where they may... he keeps his weight down to make it easier on his knees and back, but he's still a big guy (6'1", large frame) so he'll always have dense bones and muscles. He doesn't sit around boo-hooing or feeling sorry for himself. He lives life as much as he can.
That's awesome D! He'll be fine with that kind of attitude!
OMG Trace, my Mom has that same heart problem If she gets stressed or excited we end up at the Emergency Ward with her. She's even done it getting excited about going to a big party for the family and other occasions. Plus she is diabetic, high blood pressure and all that rot. It's hard to keep up with her meds, that's why this place is good to have. They make sure she never misses her doses, like she used to do when she was home.
She just went through her 3rd hip replacement. This time though, her leg had come out of the hip socket and broke her hips in 5 places. So we had to find someone willing to try and re-build her hip with apoxy like stuff to make a place to put her leg back in to.There are 5 pins holding it together and a cable going down her leg inside. This has taken alot out of her, and she is taking forever to recover. It's hell when your folks start to go down hill. I just lost my Dad last Sunday. I know that I bitch about having to care for my Mom, but I will miss her when she is gone.
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I sleep with Nic every night.......................in my dreams!
I know I said it before, but... I'm sorry to hear about your father. My parents are still relatively young (early 50's) so if they keep themselve together they'll have quite a few years left. My mom is in excellent health and will probably outlive my father.
You know, this sounds horribly morbid, but in a way it would be better if that happened because my mother has the emotional strength to get through that - my father does not. It would tear him to shreds if my mother died first, whereas my mother would obviously be devastated but has the stoic, practical attitude that would allow her to move forward.
When my maternal grandparents died, my mother kept it together. My father, on the other hand, openly grieved and was emotionally crushed by my grandpa (his father) dying. He is the more sentimental, sensitive one. It's not that my mom doesn't love my dad deeply... she's just more practical and objective about those kinds of things.
-- Edited by Damaris at 16:16, 2006-01-15
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
I know I said it before, but... I'm sorry to hear about your father. My parents are still relatively young (early 50's) so if they keep themselve together they'll have quite a few years left. My mom is in excellent health and will probably outlive my father. You know, this sounds horribly morbid, but in a way it would be better if that happened because my mother has the emotional strength to get through that - my father does not. It would tear him to shreds if my mother died first, whereas my mother would obviously be devastated but has the stoic, practical attitude that would allow her to move forward. When my maternal grandparents died, my mother kept it together. My father, on the other hand, openly grieved and was emotionally crushed by my grandpa (his father) dying. He is the more sentimental, sensitive one. It's not that my mom doesn't love my dad deeply... she's just more practical and objective about those kinds of things.-- Edited by Damaris at 16:16, 2006-01-15
I think women in general are better at keeping things together at the time of loss D. I know when my mom passed away, my brothers took it really hard! Me on the other hand dealt with it better than they did. Not that I didn't love my mom just as much as they did, but I think deep down inside I knew that I had to keep things together for them.
