I was thinking that, just in case some of us get to go to L.A., it might not hurt for us to have our act together in case we run into... someone special. That being said, here's a few guidelines you ought to keep in mind if you want to stalk with success:
1.) Seek out “enablers” who share your obsession and enhance it as well. If you can swing it, gather a small network of fellow stalkers who each specialize in their own area of expertise (conspiracy theorist, PhotoShop expert, someone who can be trusted with the “happy pills” that nice doctor gave you a few years ago, etc.).
2.) Choose a celebrity that not only appeals to you personally, but is not too trendy or obvious. This will serve to make your “mission” easier to conceal. People who are obsessed with Brad Pitt or Sandra Bullock can be sniffed out from miles away… all it takes is the new issue of “US” magazine to flush them out. Devoted followers of Dan Ackroyd or Mary Tyler Moore, on the other hand, slip under the radar largely unnoticed. Be careful not to take this too far, however. If you are caught smuggling posters of that little guy who played “Mini Me” on the Austin Powers movies, eyebrows will be raised.
3.) Never leave a paper trail!! When purchasing those little unmentionable things that are needed every so often (bottled water, aspirin, tazer gun), pay in cash as much as possible. You would be surprised at how many people stick their nose in your business when they find out you're buying tranquilizer darts and mancatchers on the Internet. Just remember - nobody knows what nobody knows.
4.) Don’t be alarmed if the object of your obsession exhibits aggression or even goes a little too far with that handgun you found in their desk drawer the night before… some people don’t handle new friendships too well at first. Give it time. Celebrities aren’t like you and me… they’re actually painfully shy, and require time and patience before they really open up to you. Just keep hanging around in their backyard and check in every so often to let them know you’ll always be there if they want to talk. They’ll give in eventually.
-- Edited by Damaris at 18:55, 2005-11-27
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
I was thinking that, just in case some of us get to go to L.A., it might not hurt for us to have our act together in case we run into... someone special. That being said, here's a few guidelines you ought to keep in mind if you want to stalk with success: 1.) Seek out “enablers” who share your obsession and enhance it as well. If you can swing it, gather a small network of fellow stalkers who each specialize in their own area of expertise (conspiracy theorist, PhotoShop expert, someone who can be trusted with the “happy pills” that nice doctor gave you a few years ago, etc.). 2.) Choose a celebrity that not only appeals to you personally, but is not too trendy or obvious. This will serve to make your “mission” easier to conceal. People who are obsessed with Brad Pitt or Sandra Bullock can be sniffed out from miles away… all it takes is the new issue of “US” magazine to flush them out. Devoted followers of Dan Ackroyd or Mary Tyler Moore, on the other hand, slip under the radar largely unnoticed. Be careful not to take this too far, however. If you are caught smuggling posters of that little guy who played “Mini Me” on the Austin Powers movies, eyebrows will be raised. 3.) Never leave a paper trail!! When purchasing those little unmentionable things that are needed every so often (bottled water, aspirin, tazer gun), pay in cash as much as possible. You would be surprised at how many people stick their nose in your business when they find out you're buying tranquilizer darts and mancatchers on the Internet. Just remember - nobody knows what nobody knows. 4.) Don’t be alarmed if the object of your obsession exhibits aggression or even goes a little too far with that handgun you found in their desk drawer the night before… some people don’t handle new friendships too well at first. Give it time. Celebrities aren’t like you and me… they’re actually painfully shy, and require time and patience before they really open up to you. Just keep hanging around in their backyard and check in every so often to let them know you’ll always be there if they want to talk. They’ll give in eventually. -- Edited by Damaris at 18:55, 2005-11-27
I would like to add to remove all photos of your divine love from your purse or wallet. If you get snagged by the police the photos would be a good give away.
And let's just get something straight - BY NO MEANS ARE ANY OF US BEING SERIOUS - well, except we would take Nic down and ride him until the next week - WE AREN'T REALLY STALKING HIM - IT'S A JOKE - SO THOSE WHO FEEL THREATENED JUST CHILL OUT!!!
Nic already knows who we are = those girls who are passed out on the street because he smiled and said "good morning".
I would like to add to remove all photos of your divine love from your purse or wallet. If you get snagged by the police the photos would be a good give away. And let's just get something straight - BY NO MEANS ARE ANY OF US BEING SERIOUS - well, except we would take Nic down and ride him until the next week - WE AREN'T REALLY STALKING HIM - IT'S A JOKE - SO THOSE WHO FEEL THREATENED JUST CHILL OUT!!! Nic already knows who we are = those girls who are passed out on the street because he smiled and said "good morning".
ROTFLMFAO! I think half of us would have passed out long before he said anything!
I'm glad you thought to put that disclaimer on this thread, Sinclaire. God forbid someone should read this (as in, someone from another Nicolas Cage board which shall remain nameless, because naming something gives it power) and not realize that it's all one big funny. I could totally see that happening, though.
-- Edited by Damaris at 18:14, 2005-11-29
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Kimchee is the answer to everyone's problems! It is the life force, the uncompromising Id, the dish at the end of the cold bar at the Asian buffet that keeps the common thread of mankind from unraveling at the seams!! WE MUST HAVE MORE KIMCHEE!!!
