Rattling the ice around in her glass absentmindedly, the woman tilted her head to the side, staring at the TV screen again as if nothing happened.  She was starting to give Nina the willies, and that wasn’t an easy task. After another few seconds of silence, it slowly dawned on her that this chick couldn’t possibly be telling the truth… no way.  She was just too flaky, too weird.  Even a dork like Dave Spritz would not consider giving this woman the time of day.  But then she spoke up again, and what she had to say made her reconsider.

“For one thing…”, she drawled, giving away her Midwestern roots, “I have pictures.”.

“Pictures of what?”.

            “His hair… duh!”, she snapped back.  “And some other stuff too, but I do have pictures of his hair, and I can prove that it’s real because…”.

“Okay, you know what?”, Nina interjected, with an exasperated tone.  “I’m really not all that interested in the hair.  I want to hear about the other thing.”.

“What other thing?”

Is this bitch dumb as a stump or what?, Nina thought as she rubbed the back of her neck.  “You said you had seduced him… I wanna hear about that.”.  She hoped her tape recorder’s batteries hadn’t ran dry yet.  Discreetly checking her purse, she heard it clicking away, recording every insipid little word out of the woman’s mouth.

“Umm… yeah… oh yeah, he’s a typical guy.  Totally thinks with his pants, 24/7.  You would never know from looking at him or watching him on TV because he has this all-American image thing going on, but I know what he’s really like.”

The girl looked down at the bar for a moment, a little embarrassed, and Nina was afraid she would change her mind about talking, but she plunged on.  “So you know how I said I worked nights?  In proofreading?  Well, one night a couple of weeks after I met him, he was there pretty late.  I had to go downstairs for something and I noticed that he was in the control room, and it was kind of weird because he was just sitting there staring at the monitor screens, the ones that show the weather patterns.  I don’t know what they’re called.”.  She started to flag the bartender for another drink, but Nina got to him first… she wasn’t about to let her concentration break again.  “I had ran into him a few times since we met that one day, but we didn’t say anything to each other… we just looked.”.  She giggled a little as the bartender poured her a Coke and rum. 

“You just… looked at each other?”.

“Yeah.  I probably looked at him more than he looked at me, but whatever…”, she responded with a limp dismissal of her hand.  “So, anyway, I go downstairs and he’s in the control room.  I didn’t want to disturb him, because he looked pretty busy, but I guess he heard me because he looked up when I walked by.  I stopped in the break room to get a cup of coffee, but there wasn’t any made so I started a pot, and then I get this weird feeling like I’m being watched, so I turn around and he’s just standing there in the doorway, staring at me.”.  At this admission, the drunk woman began to snicker and cover her face with one hand.  “I know this sounds weird, but I think… oh my God, whatever… I think he was staring at my ass.”.  She dissolved into loud, tipsy snorts, but by this time everyone else in the bar was used to her outbursts and didn’t even look their way.

After a couple of minutes, Nina couldn’t help but giggle a little herself, even though she was getting increasingly impatient with her.  “So what happened then?”.

“Well, like I said, he was just staring at me… and then after a few seconds he said, ‘Oh, could you bring me a cup when it’s ready?’.  And I said I would, so he went back into the control room.  OK, now here’s where it gets really good.”, she added, as if reading Nina’s mind, and not a moment too soon.  “I poured him a cup of coffee and brought it to him, and he was staring at the screens again.  It was just a bunch of weather patterns, but I think he was trying to figure out what they meant.  He looked so hot, concentrating on the screens like that.  Like I said, I’d had a thing for him for awhile, and I wondered what he thought of me, so I just watched him for a couple of minutes.  He finally noticed me standing there looking at him, and so I gave him his coffee.”.  She paused again, watching something on TV.

“And then what?”.

She took a quick drink from her glass and looked directly at Nina, liquid courage coursing through her veins.  “I asked him what he was looking at… but really, all I wanted to do was give him a massage.  That was kind of my excuse for getting closer to him, I guess.”.  After admitting this, she shyly looked down at her hands again, then looked off into the distance, past the TV screen.  “I remember he was telling me some stuff about weather patterns that I really didn’t care about, and… it was weird.  It was like I had no control over my hands or something.  I started rubbing his shoulders a little, and I thought he would freak out, but he didn’t.  He just stopped talking all of a sudden, then leaned back and closed his eyes, so I worked my hands down a little lower, down his back and over his arms.  He had really nice arms… they were kind of muscular, but not real bulgy.  I asked him if it felt good, and he just smiled and nodded his head.”.  She giggled a little, breathlessly, and Nina looked down to see her knees bouncing with nervous energy.

“So I rubbed his shoulders and back for awhile, and I realized that… no, never mind.”

“What?  What did you realize?”.  She was starting to get into the story, despite her initial cynicism.  The way this woman told the story made something as innocuous as a back massage seem scandalous, like flashing a nipple during Sunday School class.

“Well… he was getting… he was getting kind of excited, you know?  He was getting really excited.  At first I thought it was just my imagination, but pretty soon he started shifting in his chair a little, and then he took my hands and brought them up to his shirt, like he wanted me to unbutton it.  He already had his tie off… so I started to unbutton it a little.  Did you know he has a lot of chest hair?”, she asked suddenly. 

What the hell is her obsession with hair?, Nina wondered blindly.  “No… that’s interesting.  So what happened next?”.

“So I started to unbutton his shirt, and he leaned his head way back, and his face was right under my tits.  It was insane!!”, she snorted, then started to cough.  After recovering, she rubbed her eyes and added, “I was running my hands all over his chest, and he was really getting into it… he was really relaxed, moaning and stuff, but when he heard somebody walking in he freaked out and jumped out of his chair.  It was sooooo funny because his face hit my tits… I guess my boss was starting to wonder where I was because he came in looking for me.”.  She took one last gulp of her Coke and rum, then set the glass aside.  “He didn’t catch us, but I think it made Dave nervous.  Because after that he wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me for a long time.  Well, for a couple of weeks, anyway…”.  Her voice trailed off, dissolving in a hint of sadness. 

More silence.  Nina was broke, so if she wanted more information, she’d have to rely on her charm and charisma.  The thought of this made her cringe a little… even she was aware of the fact that those qualities were not her stronger ones.  “So, I imagine something else happened later.”

This made her face, now flushed with alcohol and reminiscence of lust, brighten just a little.  “Oh, yeah, definitely!  That was when I found out his hair was real!”.

Oh, joy.  Another hair story., Nina thought as she rubbed her temples furiously.