That is too funny.  I've never gotten the lesbian thing.  I get a lot of "shy librarian" comments and questions along the lines of the guy last night.  I think a lot of guys are secretly fascinated with quiet, mysterious women that look conservative because they wonder if we're freaks on the down-low.  Some of us are    And the funny thing is, it isn't like I try to look this way on purpose.  It just happens. 

Yeah, I'm strictly carnivore myself.  No fish on Fridays for me!!

Damaris wrote:

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Don't ask me why this conversation occurred but.... Y'all know I went clubbing last night.  Well, that was an experience in itself, since I haven't really done it in ages.  Frankly, I was kind of clueless as to how to even dress, since I'm too big-breasted to wear the tiny skimpy tops the little bitty gals are sporting, and at 33 I'm probably out of that age range anyway.  So I wore what I thought was a cute outfit... black miniskirt with high strappy open-toed heels, white sheer blouse open at the neck with a thin lime-green sweater vest over it (stretchy, not baggy).  I had matching jewelry with lime green in it, so I thought it matched pretty well (and y'all know I'm all about the matching accessories).  So this middle-aged guy comes up to me and says, "So.... are you in the Air Force?  You're military, right?".  (There's an Air Force base here in OKC.)  When I told him I wasn't, he wanted to know what I do for a living.  When I told him I was an inventory clerk, he said, "For the Air Force, right?".  Ummmm.... nooooo.... When I asked him why he assumed I was in the Air Force, he said, "Well my son and I have been watching you (eek!), and we just assumed that you were in the military because you're so conservative and straight-laced.".  1.)  He's going out clubbing with his SON??  (Saw his son... he looked to be mid-20's) 2.)  They're scoping out chicks together... nice.  3.)  So, because I don't have my goodies hanging out all over the place and I have short hair, I must be a hardcore military chick? People make the strangest assumptions sometimes.  I have never dressed overly provocative... I've never felt it was necessary.  But I found it a bit disconcerting to know that people make those observations about me, or at least these guys did.  He was probably hoping I would engage him and his son in a little friendly fire.  Not happening.-- Edited by Damaris at 10:43, 2006-01-15

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WTF!? So how did it end D? I'm guessing by your tone, you didn't give him a phone #. Not that I blame you! I mean who goes "clubbin" with their kid first off!? I'm surprised the kid would even want to be seen with his dad!

a_perfect_circle1678 wrote:

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WTF!? So how did it end D? I'm guessing by your tone, you didn't give him a phone #. Not that I blame you! I mean who goes "clubbin" with their kid first off!? I'm surprised the kid would even want to be seen with his dad!

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He never asked for my number.  After our little exchange, he told some dumb joke about strawberries ("if we weren't so sweet, we wouldn't be in this jam together") and then wandered off.  He wasn't my type anyway.

Then there was this other creepy fat guy that kept following me around from club to club (there were many different small clubs in one big building... so when I say "clubbing", it was all under one roof).  He would stand behind me and stare at me... then I would leave and go somewhere else, and a couple of minutes later he would be there again... staring at me.   

I totally agree.  Of all the men in this building... and it was PACKED... these were the two guys that showed interest.  And this guy had something about him that screamed "psycho".  It wasn't his weight so much as the fact that he was this round, greasy little man with spooky eyes and bad clothes, and he must have been at least 10 years younger than me.  The whole thing just kind of made my skin crawl. 

In a way, I felt kind of bad for him because he looked so lost, like he knew he didn't belong there.  I didn't belong there either, but mostly because it's just not my scene anymore (been there, done that).  Maybe that's why he was attracted to me?  Same thing with the middle-aged guy with his son.  He didn't really belong there, and picked up on the fact that I didn't either?  I don't know. 

OK, so I'm posting this here because I don't want to start a new thread....

I just met this guy for coffee that I have spoken with a couple of times on the Internet.  In his ad he stated he was 46 and 5'9", and his picture was a little fuzzy and he was wearing shades but I try to keep an open mind when writing to these guys and not dwell too much on what they look like (since none of them are hotties anyway).  So when I met him I didn't know what to expect.  Turns out he's nowhere NEAR 5'9".  I'm gonna guess maybe 5'6" on a good day, slightly pudgy with a full head of gray hair (which was conveniently hidden under a cap in his photo).  He also looks a bit older than 46.  Not bad looking, but nothing about him makes my doo-dah hum. 

He seems nice, but our conversations were mostly focused on his career, my education, and grout.  I'm not kidding... when he found out I was an inventory clerk at Hell Depot, he started ranting about how his grout was getting dingy and that he had bought it from Hell Depot and what should he do about it?  But for the most part he seems nice, and he sounded fairly successful (he's a freelance consultant on company mergers, bankruptcies, etc.).  And he was very interested in my height.  In fact, the first thing he said when he saw me was, "Wow, you really are TALL!!".  He made reference to this a few times during the conversation, and also about my short skirt and heels... "so, do you ever wear stockings?". 

He wants to go out to dinner... someplace nice, and wants me to wear a skirt again, with stockings    I don't think it's a fetish or anything, he just likes my legs and thinks I'm smart.  That's what he said, anyway.  The problem I am facing at this point is that there is zero attraction for me.  He is a nice guy, and doesn't seem weird yet, but what do you do if you're just not attracted to the guy?  I know they say that personality is the most important thing and looks shouldn't matter, but what do you do in this situation?  I agreed to go out to dinner with him again because he seems decent and I'm trying to give him a chance.  And, honestly, if I were to only accept dates from men I was actually attracted to, then I would never date at ALL because I never get asked out by men I'm attracted to... so am I being shallow or what?

I swear, I am spoiled on Nic.  I want so badly to meet a hot, tall guy... someone with pretty eyes...

LOL.  Yeah, you're right... but I always wrestle with this nagging fear that I'm being shallow, that I would be throwing a "good one" away by not dating him simply because he doesn't turn me on.  Everyone says that sometimes, once you get to know someone, you can become more attracted to them, and that's what all women should do rather than relying on initial attraction because women are not visually oriented.  Well, I am here to tell you that's WRONG.

Why can't I just pick a side of the fence and stick with it?  Why must I continually accept meetings and dates with men that I know I am not into simply because they're decent and I feel guilty for not doing it?  I bitch and moan about never having a date, and then when I DO have one I bitch and moan because I'm not into him and feel bad about it.

Okay.  I'll tell him so in the next email he sends me.  I'll let him know that I'm really only interested in being friends, but if he's still up for that then I'll be happy to meet for dinner.  I'm certain that he will decline once he reads this, however.

What I wouldn't do for a man who is my size or a little bigger, someone who could hold me and my head would rest on his chest or shoulder.  I like a man who feels, looks and acts powerful and confident.... that is so sexy to me.  I know this is difficult for me to find, since I'm so tall, but for some reason the only men who are into me are the small ones.  They seem to have an obsession with long legs.